Today my car kept stalling on the way to bring Levie to school ~ 14 times by the time I dropped him off.  The first time Levie was calm because it’s a new occurance, however, after a few more times he started to freak.  By the time I dropped him off (car stalled in front of school), I was almost in tears, so then I started to think:  How grateful I was that it started back up each time.

Yes, I’m grateful to God for being watched over and my car starts back up again.

I’m angry at Hal.  We wouldn’t be in this position if he hadn’t stolen our money, neglected to pay child support, or refused to pay equitable distribution for bills I had to pay off.

Then I thought of my tire, and I was grateful.  

Grateful to God that it lasted another day without a blowout.  There is a patch where silver stringy things are poking through so I know it must be a miracle it’s still intact.

Angry at Hal.  He lives his life like Caligula on our dime knowing that Levie stands in need of much.

Grateful to God that my son has clothes and shoes.  Albeit barely surviving.  The braces wear out his shoes very quickly and they need to be replaced often.  He grows like a weed, and while in school there must be a terrible battle with scissors which thankfully, Levie always wins and comes home unscathed.  However, his clothes sacrifice themselves to those evil, shiny blades and suffer from cuts.  He is down to two uniform tops, and one pair of shorts which I have to wash every night because, well, I had to miss class yesterday because I didn’t have money for gas.  Tomorrow?  Maybe we can use Levie’s scooter.

Angry at Hal.  He has purchased a brand new wardrobe, shoes, tv, Ipod, and many other creature comforts knowing that I go day-to-day wondering if I can feed his son.  Caligula loves to pull out his wallet and flash around his wads of money to impress.  Well, how impressed would they be if they knew that essentially it is OUR money, not his!

So, I’m thankful that we go on bandaged and limping, but none-the-less, we go.

I’m angry because he is scum and doesn’t care about his son, or how I struggle to raise a special needs child.

ps ~ ignore the dog’s ear, it wasn’t caught in the tire, he was sniffing the tire!  haha!

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